Welcome to the official Sunderland branch of the Charlton Athletic Supporters Club

Rampant Robins to maul Mighty Owls....?

2007-08-22T18:06:00.000Z

Init marvellous...?

Only 3 games into the season and we having our first 6-pointer already and, if Charlton play true to form, we'll probably fuck it up big time, lose 1-0 to a soft clart of a goal and then run round like headless Robins trying to do our best not to look like a Premiership team that's just been relegated and haven't got a clue how to play 90 minutes of rough boy football...

Cries of 'You don't know what you're doing...' will echo across the Valley along with other merrysome quips such as 'Pard's Out..' and copious amounts of 'Sack the board..' and 'Bring on the Nigerians..' will bellow out long into the night, we might even get a round or two of 'We want Dowie...' thrown in for good measure (but I doubt it, somehow...)

By the time the Covered End Choir get round to blasting out a wholesome rendition of 'You're not fit to wear the shirt...' messrs Bent and Co will have bolted hastily towards the tunnel, donned their Harmani suits, splashed on the old Brut and made a bee line for TGIF where Reidy will treat everyone to cow pie and muscat squash sandwiches...

After the scoff they'll all get on the karaoke for a drunken rendition of 'Look at my wad...' by Harry Enfield sung to the tune of 'I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts...' Bent will bore everyone shitless on how it only took him 24 years to score 100 goals, ZZ will get lifted for selling dodgy DVD's to the undercover Custom and Exercise officers sitting quitely in the corner enjoying their pints of snakebite and giant packets of beef crisps and Weaver will get barred for life for dropping his guts more times than he drops the frigging ball during the warm up.....

Even the immensly loveable Chrissy Powell, who'll come on for the last ten minutes and give away a penalty, bless him, will suffer the harsh tongue of the thronging masses when he tries to do his now almost famous end of game salute to his adoring fans. Shouts of 'fuck off you useless cunt...' will be left ringing in his ears as he turns sulkily away and bugger off with his sorry tail between his legs....

Doesn't make happy reading I know but you know it'll probably come true, and remember, you heard it here first...

Bring on the Nigerians...

2007-08-21T12:42:00.000Z

According to Jason Burt, sports writer for the Independent, Charlton may be subject to a 'takeover' by an un-named Nigerian businessman, is this a good idea or not.....?

Hmmmm.....let's look at the facts....

If you want success in today's game you need money, and lots of it and the only current way to get it appears to be from foreign investors. Seems like a good idea and it is, as long you are one of three or four clubs that have it.....

Imagine if every premier club had access to unlimited funds, there would still be only one league champion, one cup winner, at the other end of the table three clubs would still get relegated....

Once everyone starts getting 'invested in' then after a while we all back to square one as it's the clubs with the biggest investors that will continue to win everything and head into Europe consistently....

Problem with Charlton, and other small 'ambitious' clubs, is we've missed the boat, there are already too many 'glamour' clubs with too big a head start and just like the days before foreign investors we've already missed the boat and there's no real chance of ever catching up...

The only positive side to potential investment at this moment is the fact we're are currently in the hokey cokey league and a sudden injection of massive amounts of dosh should mean we would be able to buy our way out of it with little problem, a bit like Sunderland last year.

Once we are back in the prem though it would be back to the 'surrival of the fittest' with cash having little impact as we would once agian be relegated to be one of the league's perriennial struggling minnows as we could not realistically complete on monetry terms with the likes of the Arse or Manures of the footballing world....

So, if we want to get out of the chumpionship pretty quick sharp it's 'bring on the Nigerians' (just don't give them your bank acount details), we certainly don't look like we going to play our way out of it....

Welcome to the Chumpionship...

2007-08-15T17:07:00.000Z

Well, it happened, surprise, surprise...

We got relegated....

Despite the services of three, yes three, top managers, Charlton Athletic plopped into the fizzy pop league rather unceremoniously and now can look forward to awe inspiring trips to Scunthorpe, Colchester, Plymouth etc....

Good news is that most of the players that got us there are gone, like rats leaving the sinking ship they've done a runner to pastures new, some with ungenerous parting shots, some finally realising they wanted to play for a better club the whole time, some were so shite they just packed their bags and buggered off. I was disappointed to find that none seemed to accept their role in getting us relegated, 'Oh no, Not me guv...'

Mind you, it wasn't all the players, management or directors fault, no, there was those cheating buggers from the East End, using illegal immigrants to save their sorry arses. Then there was the fact that every referee in the had it in for us and ganged up on us by giving dodgy decisions left, right and centre....

Nevermind, the management must be rubbing their grimy little hands at the prospect off loading such a hefty pile of unmotivated money grabbing greedy bastards, mention no names. It's hokey cokey wages now lads, Murray's wallet is tighter than a ducks arse, no more showing off to the big boys by paying ridiculous high wages for ridiculously mediocre players......

Still, whilst I admire Murray for the amount of money he's put into Charlton, I still haven't forgiven him for sticking his nose into the management side of the game which I sincerely believe had the ultimate effect of getting us un-promoted, let's hope the interferring twat has learned his lesson this season....

Thank goodness we got Pards though, he's no mug, he knew the writing was on the corrugated wall some time ago and he had the wisdom and insight to farm out a number of players last season to the fizzy pop teams in order that they gain some valuable experience at that level (just in case we really did get relegated that is, wink, wink...)

Seems strange though that before the season actually starts he should then flog the very same experienced players off to the lowest bidder and then go out and buy some more, funny old game these football transfers. Still, Pards is no fool when it comes to the transfer market and I trust him implicitly in all his decisions, and if he says a player is going nowhere then you can take that as the final word and if he wants to go abroad and buy crap foreign players wearing gloves that have always dreamed of playing for the mighty Addicks then that's his business...

But, like every Charlton supporter that's gone before me, I've got experience in this sort of thing and there isn't anything that can surprise me now, in fact, it's all a bit of a giggle really and it I look forward to the last day of the season so I can say.....

'I knew that was going to happen....'

Chin, chin..

Frog Leaps to Charlton Defence......

2007-01-29T00:56:00.000Z

After years of pioneering the way to introduce foreign players to top flight football, Charlton are to field their first Frenchie, Madjid Bougherra, or to give him his Arabic name, مجيد بوغرة.

Although he is a renown Algerian defender he was actually born in Dijon, France, so he should be hot as mustard coming from there.

Saddened Owl's fans have given mixed reactions to his leaving the Blue Knives and have criticised his decision not to play for them once he heard Premiership clubs were interested in him. Other fans wish him well and knew it would only be a matter of time before he moved to top flight football.

One bonus for the Charlton back line is he speaks fluent French and should have no problems communicating with Diawara and El Kakouri, unfortunately, having spent most of the year living in Sheffield his English is likely to be almost incomprehensible, tha knows.......

If you want a shuftie at his prowess on and off the ball you can visit his website http://www.bougherra.com/home.php and view the videos, just look at how many opponents end up on their arse after a swift dip of the shoulder from the Boogieman.

One thing's for certain, the guy is a one off and is certain to be a legend within his own lunchtime and will not fail to endear himself to the hearts of the Charlton fans from the first whistle, whether the bloke can help save us from the big 'R' is something else.

Personally, I love him already..........

Let's do something about the M.I.B's

2007-01-04T20:17:00.000Z

How many of you fans of the greatest game in the world are sick to death of having your pleasure displeasured, your sanity desanitised, and your sense of fair play endlessly fouled, flawed and completely fucked up?

I know I am, and why?

Simple, it's the continuous and seemingly endless use of the completely useless, self important, sycophantic, little Hitlerites that weekly display their supreme level of incompetence and inability to oversee a game so simple it only requires 17 laws, namely......

The M.I.B.'s (Men in Black, Bastard in the Black, the fatherless ones, blind twats, referees etc, etc, etc....)

You know that when the greatest footballing spectacular the world can present is brought into ridicule by one of these ignoramuses that has the world falling to its knees with laughter by making a complete and utter pratt of himself by issuing THREE yellow cards before sending a player off, then you know there is a problem somewhere.

When the complete and utter pratt concerned, pictured above, is English then you have ask yourself why is such a fucking nitwit allowed to carry on and torment us in the Premiership every frigging week, what have we done to suffer such humility on a regular basis?

The following is a quote by Jeff Winter, a refereeing legend in his own lunchtime......

"Refereeing is a great career. You keep fit, are involved in the game at the highest level, travel, meet people (including a few tossers along the way) but it was really great. However, like with everything in life there are people who you don't like and those that lick suck and crawl and refereeing is no different."

So you meet a 'few tossers' along the way do you? Well I got news for you and your ilk, Winter, we meet too many tossers EVERY fucking week and they're ALL dressed in black........just like you used to be.....

Just like Uriah Denzel Rennie (pictured left) who was once famously labelled the 'Chief Muppet Referee' who once awarded Southampton a penalty after Kevin Philips trod on and fell over the ball when there wasn't a player within five yards of him and also sent off Alan Shearer for fouling a player standing about ten feet away.......Commentators have repeatedly claimed he thinks the game revolves around HIM, well it doesn't you muppet!!!

Then there's 'Old Mother Riley' (pictured right negotiating the fee for penalties to the Arse). Look at the farcical decision regarding Charlton defender, Osei Sankofa, on January 2nd.

An Arsenal player a mile offside, looking to gain an unfair advantage, famed for his diving in the shallow end, falls as if he was shot by a Jap sniper and with another Charlton player clearly able to clear the ball and what does the dickhead award?

Surprise, surprise, a penalty to the Arse and a non-sensical sending off for a 'tug on the shirt'!!! And when Charlton attempt to appeal the shitehouses at the FA DOUBLE the match ban for being frivolous!!! FFS!!!

Perhaps Sankofa would have been better off running 30 yards, smashing the player in the face with his elbow so hard he needed to go to hospital and spend several weeks out of the game, at least he would have only received a yellow card, well he would have if the grinning goon, Dermot Gallagher, had been ref.

The wanker, pictured left laughing at a match report of his most recent game, clearly saw one of the most blatant and horrific assaults in the history of the game and deemed worthy of only a 'yellow'! What a cock!

The incident caused such an outrage the FA actually removed the idiot from their list of incompetent morons, my question is, why stop there?

Why not get rid of the rest of the tin pot pariahs that seem to believe the peoples game actually revolves around them, those self fulfilling outcasts that genuinely believe that millions of fans gleefully pay millions of pounds to watch their ineptness and consistently disgraceful 'performances' with consistent and painful regularity.

I could go on and on, naming names, stating my case with well documented incidents but I'm sure you already know them all and could indeed add countless other perfectly deplorable examples. But why do we put up with it? Why, when practically every major sport in the world uses TV technology to assist and improve its game, why does the infidels at the head of the worlds GREATEST game belligerently refuse to entertain the idea?

The simple answer is 'because they can'.

That's it in a nutshell, they don't want to change things so they won't.

I recently sent a complaint via Email to the FA.....

One part of the 'stock' reply was.....

"Our stance will always be that referees and their decisions have to be respected for the game to remain workable"

How fucking cocksure and arrogant is that? They never even read my complaint but they feel comfortable and totally at ease to tell me they 'will always' back their moronic representatives to the hilt.

Well I don't know about you folk but I feel it's time for a change......a big change........

In the next few days I'll publish the full complaint I made to the FA along with their insult of a reply, in the meantime, why don't you send a complaint yourself, why not tell your friends, relatives, neighbours, workmates to send a complaint?

http://www.thefa.com/feedback/

Let's start to let the bastards know enough is enough and we want a change.....

I want that one!!!

2006-12-29T00:02:00.000Z

Why are all Charlton fans such eternal optimists?

2006-12-25T23:53:00.000Z

After the latest chapter in the latest comedy series, 'When the Music Stops, Pick a Manager', I cannot believe how so many Charlton fans can suddenly change their entire stance and blindly accept and so readily play 'follow the leader' with latest addition to the Murray family of exciting managers.

A recent Charlton Fans Forum had a thread entitled...

'father christmas is real :), reed leaves/sacked?, pards in'

Father Christmas? FFS!!!

Next thing you'll be telling us you believe in the frigging tooth fairy.....

The unswerving support and undying enthusiasm for all things bolllocks never ceases to amuse me among Charlton fans.....

Well, friends and compadres, you can believe in all the fantasies you want but all the while we got Snow White and the Seven Fecking Dwarves playing for us week in and week out we got more chance of climbing the shitting bean stalk than climbing the sodding Premier league....

And I'm really sorry to spoil it for you boys and gals out there in fantasy football land but there ain't no such thing as Father Christmas, there ain't even such a thing as a bleeding tooth fairy...

So face the facts....we've got no bite, we're chuffing toothless, we're a bunch of gummies that couldn't suck a lemon without pulling a goddamn hamstring....

And to cap it all (no pun intended, but funny none-the less) we've got plenty more kicks in the falsies coming on our way on the frantic journey to the Hokey Cokey league, and you all know what that stuff does to your teeth........

Get Real.........................................

Will the real Charlton manager please stand up!

2006-12-25T21:40:00.000Z

Ok, those that have known me long enough know perfectly well that I'm not the suspicious type, I really do believe the Yanks landed on the moon in 1969 and I accept without question that 'weapons of mass destruction' was the real reason we invaded Iraq, why, I even acknowledge the fact the Spanners reached the FA Cup final in 2004, but four Charlton Managers in one year? Come on......

You're 'aving a larf, mate!!!

Just who do you think you are kidding Mr Murray?

Alan Curbishley was the most successful and dependable manager we have had for for nearly 50 years, he runs the club on a 'shoestring' budget and keeps your (and our) precious 'little club' in the Prem for several years by wheeling and dealing, ducking and diving in such a delectable manner even the great Del boy trotter and his plonker of a brother, Rodney 'Charlton' Trotter would have been proud of.

Just like Del Boy, all the East End Cockney kid ever wanted was a few Million quid so he could hoof it up with the 'big boys' but you denied him at every step of the way with a blunt and uncompromising....'Sorry, Al, I'm skint, ask yer Muvver.....'

You pissed the lad off that much he went off in a bit of a 'incredible hulk' and spread it out on the 'nat king cole' for six months or so......

So what?

All the unperturbed and effervescent Mr Murray has to do is nick off to the stables to get himself another thoroughbred of a manager. After all, the list of pure bred stallions is quite extenstensive, there's Martin O'Neill, George Graham, Sven GE, Terry Venables, Bobby Robson, Jackie Charlton, Kevin Keegan, there's even the poor old sod that got the push from Chelski a couple of seasons ago whose name no-one can remember, and then there's an up and coming young colt named Billy Davies that has some good recent form showing, and if we wanted to benefit from a bit of devine intervention there was always Hod, the God...........

Between them they have won several thousand league titles, countless cup winners medals and an almost endless and uninterrupted supply of European experience and success to add to their bulging CVs. No one's calling them mercenaries but a few bob at the right time to cream the ever lurking agent's sweaty palm and we could have been set for life, well anther 15 years at least....

Easy Peasy this manager lark......

But hold on a minute, this is Charlton we talking about, we don't start at the top, do we? No, we go straight to the bottom and work our way up.....

And who does Dicky boy find bringing up the rear of such a well spread field, a thoroughbred? A frisky filly? A five year old half knackered gelding with galloping foot rot, no, he spots and falls head over heels in love with a clapped out mangy old flee ridden Donkey! Monsieur Dowie, to be precise.....

Mind you, the donk did have some impressive form, he gets the Palarse up and down faster than a French tarts knickers, and after such a short but distinguished and enamoured career, who can blame the long eared one for wanting to move on to pastures new? Strange coincidence his tormentor and paragon of virtue from just a few miles up north has decided to cash in his chips at roughly the exact same time......

Still, Murray knows what he's doing, don't he? What's the point in splashing out on the football version of the Arabian Stallion when you can have your very own 'Donkey Derby' every week? And that's exactly what we got, all that was missing was the 'kiss me quick hat'.

Still, when the going gets tough, the tough get going, and after just six months the tough speaking, no nonsense, all action guy got going all right, straight down to the nearest labour exchange......Talk about 'drop the dead donkey'..............Shame..........So soon after the 'Vote of Confidence Trick' from the board too.......

Still, once bitten, twice shy, and if you've ever been bitten by a donkey you certainly don't want to experience it again, so the key to learning from a bad experience is to look for someone with lots of experience who can give the team the benefit of their experience so they themselves become experienced, what was I talking about? Oh Yes, experience.............

Enter the Dragon!!!

Luckily for Mr Murray, his scouts had recently reported that Coronation Street's Norris Cole's stand-in stunt man was in the region and was hoping to audition for the part of Widow Twanky in the Christmas Pantomime 'Dickhead Whittington'. Yes you guessed it Les Reed.......Who?

Apparently, not satisfied with playing the ugly sister to the lead role of 'Little Red Donkey Hood', Les schemed, connived and back stabbed his way to the top faster than you can shout 'Look behind you, Donkey'.

Trouble was, when it came to football management Reed had a CV as long the arm of the 'one armed man' in the Fugitive, unfortunately the missing one.......Still he had read a book once, which is more than the donkey ever did, and he did get to colour in some badges down the FA, what the letters FA stand for is still a bit of a mystery but I think most of you could have a pretty good guess........He's even been known to pen the odd poem or two, who can ever for get the poetic masterpiece...."I think the future is bright in red, black and white." ?

Anyway, to cut a long story short he was shite and so Murray sacked him......

And so the managerial nightmare of Christmas Future continues for Scrooge Murray, this manager game is costing him a bloody fortune in compo.....still, one thing's for certain he's not going to fall for the old 'three card trick' for the third time, is he?

'Oh no he isn't', I hear you cry...........

Oh yes he fecking is.................

Desparate to foil his misfortunes with something a little more scientific Mr Murray turns to the cards, no, don't get too excited, I said turning TO cards, not turning turning IN his cards.

Hmmmmm, wait a minute, there's a lot to be said for Tarot cards and scientifically predicting the future, what better way to determine who's the best chap for the 19th best paid job in the Premiership?

'Yes, Peter,' says Murray 'Pop down to Tescos and get a big pack of tarot cards and we'll do the job properly this time.....'

'Righto' says the eager to please Varney........

Alas, just like like the despairing mother of Jack de Beanstalk, Murray knew as soon as Pete returned with the pack of 'Mrs Bunn the Bakers Wife' he should have sent the tea-lady......

Undaunted, the pair sat down to play a round and after about half an hour of tense studious brow sweating play Murray announces.......

'Have you got Alan Pardew?'

'Yes,' says Pete, 'I'll swap you Alan Curbishely for it..'

'Deal,' says Murray.

And the rest is, as they say, history............

How hard is it being a football chairman?

2006-12-20T22:53:00.000Z

Just how difficult can it be to be the Chairman of a football club? What exactly can be hard about it? I mean, all you need is a few million quid, a half knackered football club on its last legs and your in.....You definitely don't need an O'level....

Every now and then you and your fellow directors simply dip your hand into your pocket pull out your wad and shove a few quid on the table and the manager goes out shopping. If he's a shrewd enough manager he'll pick up a bargain or two and hey presto you're in the Premiership before you know it, hob-nobbing with all the other millionaire playboys (and girls) with nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon.

Some chairman like to spend money like it's going out of fashion, filthy rich oil barons readily spring to mind, and ultimately they have a lot helluva more money than they got sense. Other chairman are always a bit more frugal with their easy to come by dosh, that's because presumably they usually have more sense than they've got money, in recent times I think it's reasonably safe to say Dicky Murray snugly fitted into this category.

It beggars belief then, that after 15 years of doing bugger all other than what he's good at, i.e. coughing up the mazooma at the appropriate times of need, Murray has suddenly developed an uncharacteristic self inflated ego that gives him a false sense of superior knowledge over all things related to Charlton Athletic football club.

The past 15 years have seen us lose our spiritual our home to travel the league like a bunch of wandering nomads, but after a magnificent effort by the board, fans and players we returned in triumph and have turned the Valley into a stadium that we could only ever once have dreamt of.

We have leaped into the Premiership via the greatest Wembley match ever seen only to be dumped unceremoniously on our arses months later. Not to be perturbed we immediately made it back into the Prem and have continually flummoxed the whole footballing world by staying there for seven 'interesting' years.

We have been minutes away from drifting into oblivion via the courts only for knights in shining armour to come to our saviour at the very last moment. Those self same knights have for years selflessly worked and contributed a seemingly endless flow of cash and self sacrifice in an effort to maintain our heady status.

Throughout all the good times and the bad the common denominator has been we have all stuck together, a red and white family thousands strong and growing year by year. A precious little club loved by all and respected by just as many opposing fans as our own. A club managed and lead by the highly dependable Sir Alan Curbishley whose longevity in managership was only surpassed by a certain Sir Alex Ferguson.

So why, after 15 years, has Murray now decided to break the long established Charlton tradition of doing things on a scale that directors, players, fans and the football world in general could understand, i.e. a small way... The Charlton Way!

Fair enough, it is his money, therefore technically it is his club,he can do what he wants with it. He can hire and fire his staff, knock down and rebuild the stadium as he sees fit, buy and sell the players he likes the look of the most, the sky's the limit really. Up to now he hasn't done a half bad job in all those day to day areas of running Charlton.

So what's gone wrong?

The truth is for years Murray has been a bit part player in a big, big footballing world, but he has maintained his position admirably, so why on earth has he gone and got these ideas way above his mediocre station? Why does he now assume he can run the club like the big boys do? Why has he now decided he knows a good manager from a mediocre one? How does he suddenly developed the business acumen that tells him to sack one hopeless leader for another? Why has he all of a sudden got far too big for his boots? Why does he suddenly appear to want to rip our beloved club apart at the seams?

In short, I surmise he has just got a little bit too big for his boots and his obvious lack of experience of mixing it with the elite of the Prem has found him out to be sadly lacking...... trouble is he's too proud, or stupid, to admit it and subsequently he continues to blunder on aimlessly along the corridors of doom, blindly staggering into the Coca Cola league at a great rate of knots.

So what's the result of Murray's ineptitude going to cost him? Well it's like likely to cost him a pretty £million or eleven, a more than self inflicted bruised status and a shattering blow to his ego, but worst of all....and for us too...

A place in the greatest footballing league in the world, the Premiership!

Who was it once called all chairmen tossers?

Reed pleased with Liverpool result....

2006-12-18T02:40:00.000Z

After the 5-1 humiliation at the hands of Tottenham, manager Reed must have been really happy at the massive improvement shown by his team against the Reds of Liverpool. After averting a potential disasterous result Reed, pictured right picking sawdust out of his ear, left the Valley on Saturday more than pleased with the 3-0 defeat.

Reed was quoted as saying, 'After the 5-1 drubbing at the hands of the yids we were keen to turn that around as soon as possible and I think you'll agree we were much improved against the Scousers. Liverpool ought to have 12 but with some frantic defending and good luck we kept it down to only 3, that proves we have turned the corner and we are looking forward to the quarter final against Wycombe on Tuesday.'

Too bloody right Les, not as much as Wycombe are though, they must be absolutely quaking in their boots at the thought of coming up against the cast iron defence you're putting out at the moment.

Wycombe, pictured left after their 3-1 defeat against MKD on Saturday, have a renown cup history and are keen to emulate their success in the amateur cup final of 1932.

Before the cup draw all the players and several thousand fans attended a mass jehovahs witness rally to hold hands pray they'd be drawn against the mighty Addicts, preferably away. With the first part of their prayers answered the rest should be easy.

Curbs moves north to be near family....

2006-12-15T00:43:00.000Z

Not so much news but more 'old hat', an old 'blue and claret bonnet, with Curbishley written on it' to be more precise.....

One of footballs longest 'will he, won't he? football manager sagas came to an abrupt end this week as Alan Curbishley, the master and maestro of the Valley for over 15 years, finally hung up red and white scarf to move back up north to be near his family.......West Ham United........

Born Llewellyn Charles Curbishley (with a name like Llewellyn and living in the east side of the Smoke you either had to learn to fight or to learn how to play football) the East End ragamuffin fled the gutters of Forest Gate to learn the wonderful game of football as an apprentice to the likes of the late, great, Sir Bobby Moore at Upton Park, 'Alan' went on to further ply his trade with Aston Villa, Birmingham, Brighton and Charlton (2 spells) and although he was more than a 'decent' player he didn't actually win anything, unless you know better......

Al, as he likes me to call him, began his mangerial exploits in 1991 with Charlton and the rest is, as they say, history......A relegation here, a promotion or two there has more than helped him to pay off his mortgage and at the same time bring numerous accolades from around the football world regarding his shrewd eye for a good buy (or even better, awe inspiring loan deals).

He kept 'little Charlton' afloat in the Prem for several years and, despite some accusations of being a master tactician in 'boring and negative' football, when fellow managers all around him lost their heads he at least managed to keep his......

So highly regarded was Al he became a firm favourite with the bookies as every time a head rolled he'd instantly be linked and installed as favourite contender for the job, from Barrow to Barnsley, East Ham to England, it made no difference, Curbs was the boy for the job. The undying loyalty Curbs showed to his SE7 masters meant that many a bookie spent a peaceful night counting the bountiful income from the numerous failed betting slips from the nations armchair punters.

Eventually, patience no longer became a virtue to Al and he played his joker with chairman Dicky Murray regarding contract, ambition and funds. Dicky, known for keeping his cards (and his cash) to his chest called Al's bluff and so he quickly folded and left the table in the Valley in a gentlemanly fashion, had he known the dastardly Murray had £12 million quid hidden up his sleeve the parting of the waves may well have been a tad more acrimonious.

After six months of hoovering the lounge and taking the mutt to the beauty parlour Curbs started to get the football itch once more. Within five minutes of Curbs being spotted down the Plaistow job centre Pardew got the chop at the aptly named 'Boleyn Ground' securing the comeback all West Ham fans had been waiting for hundreds of years.

The return of Llewellyn Charles Curbishley as the 'prodigal son' has sparked even more interest in 'knees up muvver brown' land than when Jack the Ripper opened up a kebab shop on the Whitechapel Road in the late 1880's. Even Pearly Kings and Queens are naming buttons after him. The fact he deserted Upton Park 27 years ago after playing a bit part for two brief seasons seems to have fluttered by most mallet fans.

It seems rather ironic that the boy from the gutter should return to his kingdom only to find his beloved Hammers are in the exact same gutter from whence he came. Not known for wearing his heart on his sleeve I'm sure the pleasant and unasuming gentleman that he is will set about the task of reviving the insipid and rusting 'Irons' forthwith, good luck.

Finally, I would like to state for the record, I bear the man no malice and wish him bon chance in every venture he endeavours to partake in (except when he plays us of course).

Thankyou Alan Curbishley.

You know when you've been 'Tangoed'

2006-12-14T00:13:00.000Z

During the 2004/05 season the Crystal Palarse Chairman, Mr Simon Jordan, known affectionately as 'Tangoman' to his admirers because of his sinister addiction to the fizzy pop drink and Sun Bed sessions, blurted out a caustic and rather derogatory comment aimed at his fellow Premiership Chairman.

Apparently he called all chairmen 'Tossers'. The fact that Jordan, pictured above holding his arm after being diagnosed as having 'wankers cramp', was too a chairmen flew right over the zest of his rind coloured barnet.

To their credit the chairmen from the clubs representing the Premiership declined to comment on such banal rantings from such an insignificant irritant, instead they clubbed together and secretly arranged his and his clubs transfer to the fizzy pop league by stuffing their arses week-in and week-out, leaving the 'coup-de-gras' to the famous Robins on the last day of the season.

Having watched his beloved Charlton storm to a 2-2 draw that proved enough to kick Jordan and his sorry arsed Crystal Palarse out of the Prem, Charlton chairmen, Dicky Murray, hid behind the door of the boardroom waiting to ambush Tango with a quirky quip of his own that he believed the occasion clearly appeared to warrant.
As Jordan entered the room Murray, pictured left with his imitation tango suit he had made especially for the game, fronted the now forlorn Jordan and quipped, 'Good luck in the championship, you tosser...'

As Jordan turned on his heels and headed of to the nearest WH Smiths to by a road map of the lower league grounds he was heard to issue a torrent of abuse towards his erstwhile host and promise to exact his revenge for the utter humiliation at the hands of Murray, who was by now laughing so hideously he'd actually suffered a bout of stress incontinence and was swiftly whisked off to the baby changing room to change his urinary soiled underpants.

After a season and half of boring the shite out of visiting Chairmen with his post match story of the Tangoman's humbling, rumblings were being rumbled that Jordan was plotting his vengeance upon his tormentor. After his connived plan 'A' of installing Dowie as the new Charlton manager fell by the wayside after just 12 matches, plan 'B', the appointment of the second least likely candidate of the season, Les Reed, was brought into play and Jordan's 'cunning plan' was back on track.

Ever since then, the dramatic and seemingly unstoppable slide into the hokey cokey league has apparently caused Mr Murray many a night tossing and turning in his sleep with nightmares often ending with a strangely orange-shaded figure jumping out of the 'J Block on the last day of the season, grabbing him by the hand and screaming hysterically..'Welcome to the Championship, you tosser.....'

Sources state top psychiatric help has been summoned to the Valley in order to help the inconsolable Murray, who now only sleeps 90 minutes every Saturday, in order to block the 'You know when you been Tangoed' syndrome from his now feeble mind. Prozac is now the order of the day and it has been rumoured Murray has had a 'prozac dispensing machine' installed into the board room following advice from his doctors.

Moral of the story? Before trying to emulate a smart arse by becoming a smart arse, try to remember one interesting point from history, 'what goes around, usually comes around.' In the mean time, Mr Murray, just keep taking the tablets....

A good hiding never hurt anyone......

2006-12-12T22:16:00.000Z

When I was younger, so much younger than today, my Grand-dad, a pround and upstanding old man that had fought in both world wars and took no crap from anyone, often used what I thought was a rather strange and contradictory idiom...

'A good hiding never hurt anyone.'

Seeing as most of my scholarly exploits was spent trolling the concrete jungle cunningly disguised as Bloomfield Secondary Modern School, where it appeared my main daily task was to avoid being murdered by most of the neanderthal war spoilt teachers, it seemed a rather strange thing to say......

I could quite rightly swear upon oath that it did indeed hurt and I had more than one bloodied nostril and wheal lined arse along the years to prove it....

It wasn't until some years later I think I knew what he meant......... if you are going to get a beating, as long as it's for a good reason and you can learn from it, then it can indeed be beneficial.

Take the game against Tottenham on Saturday, we appeared to play quite well for the first thirty minutes then they went and scored, we collapsed, big style too, not even a close run thing, a five goal bloody good hiding......OUCH!!!

What was that all about then? According to Reed's new psychiatric mind set we were supposed to playing at home, we should never have lost by such a score..... but we did......

At the time it hurt, hurt like hell, but over the next few days we have all spent some time licking our wounds and examining where and what caused the annihilation by the spuds.

Whatever Reed and his boys come up with for excuses they have got to learn from it and learn fast. No more trick cyclist 'home game' clap trap, no more charging into the valley of death in the desparate hope we can snatch the elusive first away win in over a year, no more inspired substitions that open us up like a can of soggy worms, no more of anything Tottenham in fact....

Mr Reed, you need to design a game plan, a defensive game plan, stick to it, get everybody playing to the same gameplan and, this is the hard bit, work bloody hard to achieve it!

Need any inspiration? Look at some of the videos of some of the old 0-0 draws Charlton fought out over the years, not pretty viewing I grant you but in times like these who needs pretty?

Bottom line, if getting a good hiding from the spuds means we learn more than we actually got out of the encounter then so be it, but to let it happen again is just not on, old boy.

New Manager required, under achievers need not apply...

2006-12-12T16:41:00.000Z

Clubs finishing top of the fizzy pop league with room to spare often perform well in their first season....

Didn't Curbs get to 9th in his first season? Peter Reid did similar with Sunderland....Look at Reading this season?....Wigan last year.....I'm sure you can recall others with little difficulty....

The reason is because those clubs are/were on a roll, they've got/had the winning habit....got/had winning players.....Sooner or later though, they all drop down the table and enter the relegation battle, why?

Apart from the common denominator of the lack of experience from these managers, sooner or later they realise there's more to managing a team in the prem than talent, you need cash, big cash.....

Where we might spend £12 million to buy 10/12 players the richer clubs spend that on players that don't even get out of the RESERVES!!! At that level we cannot compete with the 'big boys' if we want to win anything, but, if we just want to stay up then that's a different story.

The bottom clubs are all more or less playing with a level playing field, roughly the same amount of cash available, good squad of homegrown/international talent, good fan support, interested and supportive board, usually a manager with recent short term success etc....

So, if we are created equal and we want to be the best of a poor bunch we need to creat an edge that gives us the advantage over our closest rivals, the only way to achieve this is with.......

A top class manager!!!!

Not the likes of dowie, not the likes of Reed, definitely not the likes of pardew.....

If we're going to progress we need a top manager NOW!!!! When is it going to sink in?

Now I lay me down to sleep.......

2006-12-12T13:32:00.000Z

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take
Amen.......

Oh, and one other thing God, about this Charlton manager business......

I thought we got this managerial thing all sorted out?
I mean, fair enough, the board made a mistake with dowie but with a little divine intervention you got it sorted....didn't ya?
Heh, heh, heh, the looks on those 'dowie is great' mugs was something to behold when he got the boot I can tell you,
Only 12 league games too, God, you're a bloody genius....
I bet even those muppets down at the palarse had jolly good larf too.....
Not that I'm gloating, God, no, far from it...
You know me, I'm as magnanimous as the next man and I wish dowie all the best for the future... Where ever he lands up.....
God knows they're gonna need it, ooops, no offence God.......
The thing is, God, I know you promised us a top line manager with oodles of experience and a CV as long as yer arm but Les Reed?
Gordon Bennet, God, why him for Christ's sake? Eh?
If results could speak we'd all be struck bleedin' dumb...
Even his ratings on FM 2007 are rubbish....
And he looks like that Norris Cole from Coronation Street...
We're becoming a laughing stock, God....
Alright, I suppose even the Great Almighty like yerself has difficulties working miracles that quick sometimes and I don't doubt he's just part of the greater plan you got for us in the future....
Heh, heh, I bet you're just letting him mind the ship while you get us the top bloke, eh?
Clever, very clever...
I suppose that's why you're God, innit?
It's just that it's coming up to Christmas and we still periously close to going on the fizzy pop tour next season so I thought I'd give you a gentle reminder, so to speak....
If you could just give us a sign that we're going to be out of the shite real soon we'd all be very grateful, God...
Perhaps three point against them scouse gits on Saturday?
You know they're nothing but a bunch of heathens anyway, steal the steam off yer shite they would...
Anyway, God, I'll leave it up to you....
Oh, and one last thing, God.....
There's been some rumours doing the rounds about Pardew coming into God's country as the next manager...
It ain't true, is it, God?
I mean, what's he done for Worst Ham in recent years?
Apart from promotion to the Prem and qualification into Europe, for which they had to lose to qualify I might add....what's he done?
He's spent millions, God, bleedin' millions, and what's it got him? A P bloody 45, that's what it's got him....
Ok, a he got them to the FA Cup final, bloody hell, God, even the Spanners got to the bleedin' cup final....fat lot of good it did them too.....
You didn't go out and hire that funny looking dwarf, Wise, on the strength of it though, did you?, no, you got more sense than that, God....
So, what I'm saying, God, is....
You may be tempted to hire Pardew as a short term replacement but in the long term it would be a disaster for the club you made and an love, wouldn't it?
So if you could just have a word in Dicky Murray's ear and put him to the wise, somewhat...
Perhap's the odd nightmare of Southport from the past, or worse, Scunthorpe of the future.....
I'm sure we'd all sleep a lot better in our beds tonight if you could make him see sense...
I know you know it makes sense, God.
Amen
Oh, and God bless little baby, Jesus, on his up and coming birthday, how old is he now....?
Oh, and any more word on that Russion oil tycoon yet....?
Good night.......

'Mini League' tells a tale......

2006-12-12T00:29:00.000Z

As the Premiership progresses it could be argued quite often three distinct 'mini leagues' begin to appear.....

In the first 'league' are the 'Champions League' contenders, usually headed by Man Utd, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool....as is the case this season a small number of other clubs (Pompey for example) occasionally mount a 'surprise challenge' but usually run out of steam by Christmas and are destined to fall by the wayside sooner or later......

The second 'league' is for those chasing the 'UEFA' spots, this is where the Everton, Villa, Spurs and Bolton teams sit for most of the season, they have done their best to sustain a serious challenge to the 'big four' but eventually have to come to terms with the fact they don't have the resources to keep up the likes of Chelsea and Co. This 'league' can be one of the most exciting as the 3 points for a win can move clubs in and out of the 'Uefa spot' with back to back wins, or defeats, with annoying regularity.....

The third 'league', unsurprisingly, comprises of those fighting the dreaded 'drop'. As with the 'Uefa league' back to back wins or defeats can change the positions dramatically but the overall pattern of clubs remain in the bottom six. At the moment this years six clubs are: Sheffield United, West Ham, Middlesbrough, Watford, Blackburn and Charlton. Each of the six clubs realises the importance of beating each other as it is an indicator as to where they are placed in the 'mini league' of under achievers.

To date the 'mini league' is as follows.......

............................P...W...D...L...Pts
West Ham............5....3....1....1....10
Sheff. Utd............5....3....1....1.....10
Watford...............4....1....2....0....5
Charlton..............4....1....1....2.....4
Blackburn............4....1....1....2.....4
Middlesbrough....4....1....0....3.....3

With a game played more Sheffield and West Ham appear to be powering there way ahead with the bottom four 'everything to play for'. Of course not every club has played each other yet but a 'picture' is begining to appear and the coming weeks will be most interesting as they strive to claim that elusive 17th place or higher.

Unless Charlton can claim more points from the 'easy clubs' their push to move out of the relegation spot is likely to be one they are going to struggle to achieve......

Welcome.......

2006-12-11T20:54:00.000Z

Welcome to the first blog from an Addick fan in Sunderland.

You may have read of other impostors purporting to be from New York, Chicago, Dartford etc.... but this is the real McCoy.....

A real fan's view from a real fan.......

As a Charlton fan for over 40 years I've witnessed many ups and downs, this season promises to be no different, what else can you expect with Charlton?

This blog hopes to alleviate the stresses of following Charlton, I might make you blow your top at times, but following the mighty Reds can only make you laugh......and laugh we shall....

You are more than welcome to post your opinions and reply to my rants, raves and the odd sensible subject but don't be too upset if I occasionally disagree with your posts......

Legal Notice: The thoughts and writings on this blog do not necessarily represent the views of anyone with any sense...