Rampant Robins to maul Mighty Owls....?

Init marvellous...?

Only 3 games into the season and we having our first 6-pointer already and, if Charlton play true to form, we'll probably fuck it up big time, lose 1-0 to a soft clart of a goal and then run round like headless Robins trying to do our best not to look like a Premiership team that's just been relegated and haven't got a clue how to play 90 minutes of rough boy football...

Cries of 'You don't know what you're doing...' will echo across the Valley along with other merrysome quips such as 'Pard's Out..' and copious amounts of 'Sack the board..' and 'Bring on the Nigerians..' will bellow out long into the night, we might even get a round or two of 'We want Dowie...' thrown in for good measure (but I doubt it, somehow...)

By the time the Covered End Choir get round to blasting out a wholesome rendition of 'You're not fit to wear the shirt...' messrs Bent and Co will have bolted hastily towards the tunnel, donned their Harmani suits, splashed on the old Brut and made a bee line for TGIF where Reidy will treat everyone to cow pie and muscat squash sandwiches...

After the scoff they'll all get on the karaoke for a drunken rendition of 'Look at my wad...' by Harry Enfield sung to the tune of 'I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts...' Bent will bore everyone shitless on how it only took him 24 years to score 100 goals, ZZ will get lifted for selling dodgy DVD's to the undercover Custom and Exercise officers sitting quitely in the corner enjoying their pints of snakebite and giant packets of beef crisps and Weaver will get barred for life for dropping his guts more times than he drops the frigging ball during the warm up.....

Even the immensly loveable Chrissy Powell, who'll come on for the last ten minutes and give away a penalty, bless him, will suffer the harsh tongue of the thronging masses when he tries to do his now almost famous end of game salute to his adoring fans. Shouts of 'fuck off you useless cunt...' will be left ringing in his ears as he turns sulkily away and bugger off with his sorry tail between his legs....

Doesn't make happy reading I know but you know it'll probably come true, and remember, you heard it here first...

Bring on the Nigerians...

According to Jason Burt, sports writer for the Independent, Charlton may be subject to a 'takeover' by an un-named Nigerian businessman, is this a good idea or not.....?

Hmmmm.....let's look at the facts....

If you want success in today's game you need money, and lots of it and the only current way to get it appears to be from foreign investors. Seems like a good idea and it is, as long you are one of three or four clubs that have it.....

Imagine if every premier club had access to unlimited funds, there would still be only one league champion, one cup winner, at the other end of the table three clubs would still get relegated....

Once everyone starts getting 'invested in' then after a while we all back to square one as it's the clubs with the biggest investors that will continue to win everything and head into Europe consistently....

Problem with Charlton, and other small 'ambitious' clubs, is we've missed the boat, there are already too many 'glamour' clubs with too big a head start and just like the days before foreign investors we've already missed the boat and there's no real chance of ever catching up...

The only positive side to potential investment at this moment is the fact we're are currently in the hokey cokey league and a sudden injection of massive amounts of dosh should mean we would be able to buy our way out of it with little problem, a bit like Sunderland last year.

Once we are back in the prem though it would be back to the 'surrival of the fittest' with cash having little impact as we would once agian be relegated to be one of the league's perriennial struggling minnows as we could not realistically complete on monetry terms with the likes of the Arse or Manures of the footballing world....

So, if we want to get out of the chumpionship pretty quick sharp it's 'bring on the Nigerians' (just don't give them your bank acount details), we certainly don't look like we going to play our way out of it....

Welcome to the Chumpionship...

Well, it happened, surprise, surprise...

We got relegated....

Despite the services of three, yes three, top managers, Charlton Athletic plopped into the fizzy pop league rather unceremoniously and now can look forward to awe inspiring trips to Scunthorpe, Colchester, Plymouth etc....

Good news is that most of the players that got us there are gone, like rats leaving the sinking ship they've done a runner to pastures new, some with ungenerous parting shots, some finally realising they wanted to play for a better club the whole time, some were so shite they just packed their bags and buggered off. I was disappointed to find that none seemed to accept their role in getting us relegated, 'Oh no, Not me guv...'

Mind you, it wasn't all the players, management or directors fault, no, there was those cheating buggers from the East End, using illegal immigrants to save their sorry arses. Then there was the fact that every referee in the had it in for us and ganged up on us by giving dodgy decisions left, right and centre....

Nevermind, the management must be rubbing their grimy little hands at the prospect off loading such a hefty pile of unmotivated money grabbing greedy bastards, mention no names. It's hokey cokey wages now lads, Murray's wallet is tighter than a ducks arse, no more showing off to the big boys by paying ridiculous high wages for ridiculously mediocre players......

Still, whilst I admire Murray for the amount of money he's put into Charlton, I still haven't forgiven him for sticking his nose into the management side of the game which I sincerely believe had the ultimate effect of getting us un-promoted, let's hope the interferring twat has learned his lesson this season....

Thank goodness we got Pards though, he's no mug, he knew the writing was on the corrugated wall some time ago and he had the wisdom and insight to farm out a number of players last season to the fizzy pop teams in order that they gain some valuable experience at that level (just in case we really did get relegated that is, wink, wink...)

Seems strange though that before the season actually starts he should then flog the very same experienced players off to the lowest bidder and then go out and buy some more, funny old game these football transfers. Still, Pards is no fool when it comes to the transfer market and I trust him implicitly in all his decisions, and if he says a player is going nowhere then you can take that as the final word and if he wants to go abroad and buy crap foreign players wearing gloves that have always dreamed of playing for the mighty Addicks then that's his business...

But, like every Charlton supporter that's gone before me, I've got experience in this sort of thing and there isn't anything that can surprise me now, in fact, it's all a bit of a giggle really and it I look forward to the last day of the season so I can say.....

'I knew that was going to happen....'

Chin, chin..

Frog Leaps to Charlton Defence......

After years of pioneering the way to introduce foreign players to top flight football, Charlton are to field their first Frenchie, Madjid Bougherra, or to give him his Arabic name, مجيد بوغرة.

Although he is a renown Algerian defender he was actually born in Dijon, France, so he should be hot as mustard coming from there.

Saddened Owl's fans have given mixed reactions to his leaving the Blue Knives and have criticised his decision not to play for them once he heard Premiership clubs were interested in him. Other fans wish him well and knew it would only be a matter of time before he moved to top flight football.

One bonus for the Charlton back line is he speaks fluent French and should have no problems communicating with Diawara and El Kakouri, unfortunately, having spent most of the year living in Sheffield his English is likely to be almost incomprehensible, tha knows.......

If you want a shuftie at his prowess on and off the ball you can visit his website http://www.bougherra.com/home.php and view the videos, just look at how many opponents end up on their arse after a swift dip of the shoulder from the Boogieman.

One thing's for certain, the guy is a one off and is certain to be a legend within his own lunchtime and will not fail to endear himself to the hearts of the Charlton fans from the first whistle, whether the bloke can help save us from the big 'R' is something else.

Personally, I love him already..........

Let's do something about the M.I.B's

How many of you fans of the greatest game in the world are sick to death of having your pleasure displeasured, your sanity desanitised, and your sense of fair play endlessly fouled, flawed and completely fucked up?

I know I am, and why?

Simple, it's the continuous and seemingly endless use of the completely useless, self important, sycophantic, little Hitlerites that weekly display their supreme level of incompetence and inability to oversee a game so simple it only requires 17 laws, namely......

The M.I.B.'s (Men in Black, Bastard in the Black, the fatherless ones, blind twats, referees etc, etc, etc....)

You know that when the greatest footballing spectacular the world can present is brought into ridicule by one of these ignoramuses that has the world falling to its knees with laughter by making a complete and utter pratt of himself by issuing THREE yellow cards before sending a player off, then you know there is a problem somewhere.

When the complete and utter pratt concerned, pictured above, is English then you have ask yourself why is such a fucking nitwit allowed to carry on and torment us in the Premiership every frigging week, what have we done to suffer such humility on a regular basis?

The following is a quote by Jeff Winter, a refereeing legend in his own lunchtime......

"Refereeing is a great career. You keep fit, are involved in the game at the highest level, travel, meet people (including a few tossers along the way) but it was really great. However, like with everything in life there are people who you don't like and those that lick suck and crawl and refereeing is no different."

So you meet a 'few tossers' along the way do you? Well I got news for you and your ilk, Winter, we meet too many tossers EVERY fucking week and they're ALL dressed in black........just like you used to be.....

Just like Uriah Denzel Rennie (pictured left) who was once famously labelled the 'Chief Muppet Referee' who once awarded Southampton a penalty after Kevin Philips trod on and fell over the ball when there wasn't a player within five yards of him and also sent off Alan Shearer for fouling a player standing about ten feet away.......Commentators have repeatedly claimed he thinks the game revolves around HIM, well it doesn't you muppet!!!

Then there's 'Old Mother Riley' (pictured right negotiating the fee for penalties to the Arse). Look at the farcical decision regarding Charlton defender, Osei Sankofa, on January 2nd.

An Arsenal player a mile offside, looking to gain an unfair advantage, famed for his diving in the shallow end, falls as if he was shot by a Jap sniper and with another Charlton player clearly able to clear the ball and what does the dickhead award?

Surprise, surprise, a penalty to the Arse and a non-sensical sending off for a 'tug on the shirt'!!! And when Charlton attempt to appeal the shitehouses at the FA DOUBLE the match ban for being frivolous!!! FFS!!!

Perhaps Sankofa would have been better off running 30 yards, smashing the player in the face with his elbow so hard he needed to go to hospital and spend several weeks out of the game, at least he would have only received a yellow card, well he would have if the grinning goon, Dermot Gallagher, had been ref.

The wanker, pictured left laughing at a match report of his most recent game, clearly saw one of the most blatant and horrific assaults in the history of the game and deemed worthy of only a 'yellow'! What a cock!

The incident caused such an outrage the FA actually removed the idiot from their list of incompetent morons, my question is, why stop there?

Why not get rid of the rest of the tin pot pariahs that seem to believe the peoples game actually revolves around them, those self fulfilling outcasts that genuinely believe that millions of fans gleefully pay millions of pounds to watch their ineptness and consistently disgraceful 'performances' with consistent and painful regularity.

I could go on and on, naming names, stating my case with well documented incidents but I'm sure you already know them all and could indeed add countless other perfectly deplorable examples. But why do we put up with it? Why, when practically every major sport in the world uses TV technology to assist and improve its game, why does the infidels at the head of the worlds GREATEST game belligerently refuse to entertain the idea?

The simple answer is 'because they can'.

That's it in a nutshell, they don't want to change things so they won't.

I recently sent a complaint via Email to the FA.....

One part of the 'stock' reply was.....

"Our stance will always be that referees and their decisions have to be respected for the game to remain workable"

How fucking cocksure and arrogant is that? They never even read my complaint but they feel comfortable and totally at ease to tell me they 'will always' back their moronic representatives to the hilt.

Well I don't know about you folk but I feel it's time for a change......a big change........

In the next few days I'll publish the full complaint I made to the FA along with their insult of a reply, in the meantime, why don't you send a complaint yourself, why not tell your friends, relatives, neighbours, workmates to send a complaint?

http://www.thefa.com/feedback/

Let's start to let the bastards know enough is enough and we want a change.....

I want that one!!!

Why are all Charlton fans such eternal optimists?

After the latest chapter in the latest comedy series, 'When the Music Stops, Pick a Manager', I cannot believe how so many Charlton fans can suddenly change their entire stance and blindly accept and so readily play 'follow the leader' with latest addition to the Murray family of exciting managers.

A recent Charlton Fans Forum had a thread entitled...

'father christmas is real :), reed leaves/sacked?, pards in'

Father Christmas? FFS!!!

Next thing you'll be telling us you believe in the frigging tooth fairy.....

The unswerving support and undying enthusiasm for all things bolllocks never ceases to amuse me among Charlton fans.....

Well, friends and compadres, you can believe in all the fantasies you want but all the while we got Snow White and the Seven Fecking Dwarves playing for us week in and week out we got more chance of climbing the shitting bean stalk than climbing the sodding Premier league....

And I'm really sorry to spoil it for you boys and gals out there in fantasy football land but there ain't no such thing as Father Christmas, there ain't even such a thing as a bleeding tooth fairy...

So face the facts....we've got no bite, we're chuffing toothless, we're a bunch of gummies that couldn't suck a lemon without pulling a goddamn hamstring....

And to cap it all (no pun intended, but funny none-the less) we've got plenty more kicks in the falsies coming on our way on the frantic journey to the Hokey Cokey league, and you all know what that stuff does to your teeth........


Get Real.........................................